What to do when your bike won’t start. Six alternative tips
There is nothing more annoying than missing a great ride with your friends because your bike won’t start. In this unfortunate event, you could start troubleshooting, find the technical reason why it won’t start and fix it. Or you could not. We give you six alternative tips for what to do when your bike won’t start.
That awful feeling. You stick the key in your motorcycle, thumb the starter, and it cranks. But won’t start. Or worse; it doesn’t even turn over. And the dash and lights are dead. It’s just one of those annoyances you’d rather live without. Luckily, there are some solutions that don’t require a technical insight at all.
SIX ALTERNATIVE TIPS FOR
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR BIKE WON'T START
We could give you a whole bunch of theoretical tips. Check the colour of the sparks and all that. But let’s not. Let’s give you six alternative tips for what to do when your bike won’t start, that will work for any motorcyclist. Whether you are a backyard mechanic or not.
#1. OWN A PIECE OF SHIT
MOTORCYCLE
Better said; own at least one other piece of shit bike. So own two or more. It is a great way of dodging the ‘my bike won’t start’-issue. If one won’t start, just ride another one.
It’s simple math, really. One motorcycle might not start. But the odds of four motorcycles not starting are a lot slimmer. So if you ask us, this is the best preventative measure you can take against non-starting motorcycles ruining a great ride with friends.
Another advantage of owning one or several piece of shit motorcycles is that you will learn how to be a mechanic from the comfort of your own garage. You can thank us later.
#2. SWEAR
YES, REALLY
Whether your bike won’t start when it is still in the garage or it won’t start on the side of the road, one thing will always help: swearing. It might not sound effective, but at REDRIDINGBOOTS, we have yet to have a motorcycle restart that we haven’t sworn at. That’s what we call an impressive succes rate. So we swear at all of them immediately should they not start.
How much you have to swear at your bike, is situational. One might need just a little curse. One you can just whisper and be done with. Other bikes might require a bit more. So whatever road your motorcycle has chosen to quit traversing; explore the problem and start to swear. It will help, we promise.
#3. GET THE TOOLS OUT
NO WORRIES
You don’t have to use them. Just slowly unpack them. Place the tools neatly on the tarmac. And then hope a rider with proper mechanic knowledge will roll up and help you out. Just try to look like you know what you’re doing. It can only help.
#4. GOOGLE
OR YOUTUBE
It makes no sense to immediately start the diagnostic process whenever your bike won’t start. That would require you to take things apart, hook up wire meters, yank fuel lines etcetera. No, no. That’s not the way to do it. What to do when your bike won’t start? You start to Google.
Google the year, model and problem. And then hope someone else had to deal with the same issue. If he or she is a good person, they will have decided to serve you the solution accompanied by a detailed step-by-step guide with pictures.
And if you find some luck in this dreadful situation, you find yourself a great phone service. So you watch a YouTube video of a model that seems vaguely related to yours. It will show a fix that is really easy to perform, but won’t actually work on your bike.
#5. CALL A FRIEND WITH A VAN
OR TRUCK
This is an important part of what to do when your bike won’t start. And probably the one alternative tip you should always keep within reach. On your phone, that would be. Call a friend with a van. A truck will do too. Or a trailer. Lots of options to choose from. But choose one of them and get him or she coming. Just in case, you know. In case you and all your non-existing mechanical knowledge can’t solve the problem. You bet we’ve got a friend with a van on speed dial.
#6. TRY TO PUSH-START YOUR MOTORCYCLE
POP-START, BUMP-START AND ALL THAT
Since no one is actually in the mood for doing something mechanical or rather technical, you might as well get physical. Trying to push-start your bike helps you to kill some time, until the friend with a van gets there.
Pop-starting might actually work, but usually it doesn’t. Actually starting the bike that won’t start isn’t the goal here. The goal is to look like you are doing something. Trust us. It will feel good, even though it is pointless.
CONCLUSION
So these are our six alternative tips of what to do when your bike won’t start. You could gain mechanical knowledge and actually fix the issue. But why would you, when these six alternative tips will help you out as well?
